Blog
“It’s as though I were living at last in my eyes, as I have always dreamed of doing, and I think then I know why I’ve come here: to see, and so to go out against new things—oh god how easily—like air in a breeze. It’s true there are moments—foolish moments, ecstasy on a tree stump—when I’m all but gone, scattered I like to think like seed…”
William Gass, In the Heart of the Heart of the Country
(Photo: Brad Ewell)
Thank you for Having My Back--A Meditation on Soft Spots and Tender Care
Yesterday, out of the blue, I got a raging private message from an adoptee on Facebook telling me that I am a pathetic freeloader and a big piece of crap.
The Truth Will Set You Free, or My Experience with Adoptees On and Haley Radke -- Guest Post by Leigh Bailey
I told my truth yesterday during a podcast. It was an opportunity I’d only dreamed of having.
Why I Like to Buy Things or Why My Clothes Still Have the Tags on Them or Why I Give Everything Away
Recently COVID has driven me (repeatedly) to Nordstrom Rack. COVID doesn’t have a car, so COVID leads me online, and, what I’ve found is that once you make that trip, online shows up everywhere you go online. Suddenly Nordstrom Rack is all over my Instagram and Facebook feed and filling my email box with things that were made, apparently, just for me.
What if Adoptees (or Babies Who Lost Their Moms Too Early and Were Taken and Renamed) Really, Really are Biologically Different From Other Humans?
Sometimes when I am with other adoptees we call those we aren’t adopted “civilians” or “normal people”. It’s nice to say things like this and not hear back, “But you aren’t any different. Being adopted doesn’t make you an outsider.”
Girl Adoptees and Hair That Was Shorter Than They Liked. What's the Story Here?
Granted, mothers and daughters historically often fight about hair. But when I started to ask other female adoptees about their experience with their mothers and hair, the response was loud. “She cut my hair so short! She didn’t know what to do with it.” is something I heard again and again.
It Turns out Female Adoptees Have a Lot to Say About The Relationship Between Their Hair and Their (Adoptive) Mother
Judging from the responses to the meme I posted about hair on Instagram and Twitter, it looks like hair is a thing between adopted girls (and some boys, of course) and their mothers.
Ode to My Moms -- Guest Blog Post by Amy Jane
Erase, erase, we must erase. Erase her name, erase her heritage. Blank slate. Hurry hurry, she doesn’t matter—we matter.
To the Adoptive Parents Who Ask What to Do About Their Child's Habit of Lying
When my mom was dying, I had some talking of my own to do. I had carried deep, deep shame since I was 22 for stealing from her in a premeditated and unloving way. I had betrayed her trust in me and then I had run away.
Adoptees and Ugliness -- Thoughts after Flourish
I am wondering how many adopted people believe they were relinquished by the mother because they, the baby that was given up, was ugly.
To The Adoptive Father Who Told His Son to Work Harder
Your son has a mind that spins because he was separated from his mother at an age that would be deemed too early for a puppy or a kitten to be taken from their mother. Your son is trying not to drown and he doesn’t even know it. He just knows he can’t focus.
On Losing a Mother and a Life -- a Guest Post by Susie Stricker
I am often reminded by my family and friends when I try to explain my grief from losing you that their life would have been impacted or my sons would not have been born if you had chosen to keep me.
Tight Shoulders or the Insane Thinking of an Adoptee
I relaxed my shoulder once by mistake.