What if Adoptees (or Babies Who Lost Their Moms Too Early and Were Taken and Renamed) Really, Really are Biologically Different From Other Humans?
Sometimes when I am with other adoptees we call those who aren’t adopted “civilians” or “normal people”. It’s nice to say things like this and not hear back, “But you aren’t any different. Being adopted doesn’t make you an outsider.”
This post is going to be short because I don’t want to feed that part of my brain (maybe it’s my whole brain) that believes it’s different, broken even, but I also want to say a few things.
What happens when you are created in trauma soup? What happens when that is the pot in which you are created, Trama Ville? Is there a single cell in your body that doesn’t know trauma, wasn’t created from it? If so, how was that possible? Where is that cell?
What happens when you are born and taken from your mother and given to other parents and told you are fine? What happens when you have a mortal injury and yet there are not doctors or lawyers or police there to save you? What happens when you are a bird with its wings ripped off and yet someone throws you in the air yelling, “Fly!”?
What happens when the life you are living is so difficult it’s beyond the comprehension of almost all therapists? Where do you go for help? Or do you just get quiet, shrivel, get a chronic disease or go to the mall and shoot people or drink yourself into the grave?
What happens when what is inside you is so dark and lonely that even The Bible does not have words for what happened? Even Moses does not reach you.
What happens when your ability to function is so impaired that you learn to dissociate because being there is impossible for your nervous system. You are under water and people are asking you to breathe, to sing and dance. Not asking. Expecting.
I am a Sagittarius. I am, by natural, hopeful. I hope I am wrong. I hope I am onto a whole new way of living with the Flourish classes and the people I am gathering around me who have insides like mine.
But I wanted to get these questions off my chest so I could go do yoga and not think about them for an hour.
