Mom and Dad: We’re thinking about adopting another baby.

I understand the notion of three strikes and you’re out. You have two chances to figure it out, and one final chance to hit it out of the park. The thing is, if developmental trauma affected your prefrontal cortex, what if you need more chances to do something right?

Lie down and get comfortable.

Since writing You Don’t Look Adopted, something in me has been…not right.

After a lifetime of avoiding difficult conversations, I have found my deepest joys in walking straight through doorways that look as if they are on fire.

I heard You Don’t Look Adopted before I wrote it.

I'm an experienced performer.

I was thinking the other day how great it is to walk into fear.

I decided to ask my writing class of adopted people to write for 20 minutes on their breath.

The last morning of my online retreat, I asked the participants what they needed or what they wanted more of that day. Most people said Connection.

I hadn’t realized I’d believed in this legacy and my obligation to bear it until I’d done this exercise—I’d just assumed it was a weight that was part of me, like my arm spine or my liver.

Today on her Instagram feed, the therapist Amanda Vaughn (Amanda_Vaughn_Therapy) quoted a parent saying “My worst fear as a non-biological parent is the day my child says, ‘You’re not my REAL mother.’”