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“It’s as though I were living at last in my eyes, as I have always dreamed of doing, and I think then I know why I’ve come here: to see, and so to go out against new things—oh god how easily—like air in a breeze. It’s true there are moments—foolish moments, ecstasy on a tree stump—when I’m all but gone, scattered I like to think like seed…”
William Gass, In the Heart of the Heart of the Country
(Photo: Brad Ewell)
Ode to My Moms -- Guest Blog Post by Amy Jane
Erase, erase, we must erase. Erase her name, erase her heritage. Blank slate. Hurry hurry, she doesn’t matter—we matter.
To the Adoptive Parents Who Ask What to Do About Their Child's Habit of Lying
When my mom was dying, I had some talking of my own to do. I had carried deep, deep shame since I was 22 for stealing from her in a premeditated and unloving way. I had betrayed her trust in me and then I had run away.
Adoptees and Ugliness -- Thoughts after Flourish
I am wondering how many adopted people believe they were relinquished by the mother because they, the baby that was given up, was ugly.
To The Adoptive Father Who Told His Son to Work Harder
Your son has a mind that spins because he was separated from his mother at an age that would be deemed too early for a puppy or a kitten to be taken from their mother. Your son is trying not to drown and he doesn’t even know it. He just knows he can’t focus.
On Losing a Mother and a Life -- a Guest Post by Susie Stricker
I am often reminded by my family and friends when I try to explain my grief from losing you that their life would have been impacted or my sons would not have been born if you had chosen to keep me.
Tight Shoulders or the Insane Thinking of an Adoptee
I relaxed my shoulder once by mistake.
What Happens When You Take the Not Out of I Can't Believe?
This thing happens at least once every Flourish class with Pam Cordano and other adoptees that reminds me of what Emily Dickinson said happened when she read a good poem: she felt as if the top of her head were taken off.
Dear Santa, I Want My Power Back!--Guest Blog Post by Mel Toth
In subtle and not so subtle ways, I have been trained to look outside myself for what I want.
Fear, Wildness, Caps Lock, and 2020
2020 was a big anticipation mine field. We (the bubble in which I live) went, almost overnight, from a (privileged) society that said I hope my food arrives hot to I hope I don’t die.
What Adopted People Would Write on the Walls of the Mother
In Flourish with Pam Cordano and in The Story Under the Story with Robyn Gobbel, I asked adopted people to take a few minutes and imagine what they would write on the walls of their mother before they permanently evacuated the shelter of her for an entirely new life.
Session #2 of The Story Under the Story with Robyn Gobbel -- On Noticing
The reason (one big reason) I am taking a three-month break (maybe a year) from social media is that I noticed how I am when I’m scrolling through Facebook or Instagram. I barely breath. It’s like I’m in a light coma, stunned, quiet, scrolling, scrolling, scrolling.
My Daughter Talks About Her Brain and Adoption -- Guest Blog Post by Keats Iwanaga
I can’t write about adoption. I’m so glad that there are so many of you who do. I can only write about isolation and loneliness and how I’ve tried to maintain a tight grasp on hope despite these feelings. I won’t tell you it’s not hard. It’s hard. Some days it’s really hard.