Kathy Delaney-Smith was a rock star when I was in high school.

I don’t want to write this post, but it was between getting this done or doing my taxes, so here I am.

If a fetus’s umbilical cord is pinched, it can cause malnourishment, brain damage, and death for the fetus. The cord between mother and infant is essential. When you are kept, life bonds you to your mother. When you are adopted, more often than not, money does.

The book starts with a young Tonni making guests at her parents’ party laugh by coming downstairs first in her mother’s high heels and lipstick.

For most of my life, I had this terrible thumb-biting problem.

One of my favorite things is to give my dog Bird water when we’re in the car.

One of the greatest gifts I got from my time with Kathy Delaney-Smith was the permission to live wholeheartedly while letting people see how hard I was trying.

Earlier this year, I heard the words “adoptee” and “adoptee trauma” for the first time. 

I’m writing about this book because I can’t stop thinking about it.

My mom burned her journals when she was young.

An old man, his mouth open, watched my brother lift a heavy chest of drawers and maneuver it up into the moving truck.

This is the hardest thing I have ever tried to do.