Blog
“It’s as though I were living at last in my eyes, as I have always dreamed of doing, and I think then I know why I’ve come here: to see, and so to go out against new things—oh god how easily—like air in a breeze. It’s true there are moments—foolish moments, ecstasy on a tree stump—when I’m all but gone, scattered I like to think like seed…”
William Gass, In the Heart of the Heart of the Country
(Photo: Brad Ewell)
The Most Romantic, Hopeful, Bright-Eyed Thing I May Ever Write
What if everything happens in your life in order for you to find love?
The Chance of a Lifetime for an Adopted Person Who Wants To Write Their Story
The other day I was on the Facebook page Adoption Truth and Transparency Worldwide Information Network and I saw Jenette and Janine, the Vance twins, were offering up (as is their style), an amazing act of generosity and creativity.
Why an Excellent Date May Require an Epidural
I’m thinking of opening a dating service for adopted people called I’m Going to Lose My Mind.
How Well Can Our Adoptive Family Know Us When They Think We Are All Theirs? And How Well Can We Know Ourselves?
How can you show the world who you are when you have no clue?
A Soundtrack for Gotcha Day
What if whenever adoption papers were signed in court, the music of separation played in the background? Would the smiles and sense of “gotcha!” remain the same?
Exhaustion and Adoption
What if the weight of sadness/grief/confusion isn’t something for us to escape or run from? What if it’s not our fault we feel this way? What if we are carrying the weight of society’s agreement that it is okay to separate a mother and her child? What if this is our job?
When an Adoptive Mother Tries to Bond with Her Daughter and in the Process Destroys Her Daughter’s Self-Esteem
You want to be the mother. You want your daughter to know she is in the right place, that a life with her first mother, a women you would never call a straight out mother, a women you call birthmother in one long breath, like if you say it fast enough it will disappear.
The "Jon Kabat-Zinn" Drinking Game and Hope for Lost Babies
Maybe this could be your second Master Class: meditations for those who miss their moms.
Amy Geller was my Love Coach and Things Blew Up
Amy Geller was my love coach from November 10, 2020 to July 6, 2021. Amy says that she’s married because of my book, and she has a fondness for me that is generous and surprising.
I Fixed My Dog and Now He Looks Broken
What I’m trying to tell you is adoption is dirty business, and it’s better to keep it that way. The cleaner we try to make it, the less true it becomes. You took someone as your own, but they aren’t really yours.
My Writing Groups for Adopted People
One of the worst things about not knowing who you are is how hard it is then to have a clear sense of purpose. It’s like being a jellyfish without an ocean. You just…are. And you’re drying out.