A 22-Year Old Russian Adoptee Writes to Her Birth Mother -- Guest Blog Post by Anya Rahn

I love Instagram for many reasons. 

One is that I get to meet people from all parts of the world. Anya Rahn wrote to me about being adopted from Russia and she said that sometimes she wrote letters to her birth mother, letters her mother would most likely never see.

Anya, who is 25 now, told me that she’d been born two months early and had weighed three pounds, perhaps partially because her mother had smoked and drunk while pregnant. Anya stayed in the hospital for eight months because she was sick and then she went to an orphanage for four years. Her adoption was complicated by the fact that the birth father was in jail and two signatures—the mother’s and the father’s—were needed to allow a couple to adopt a child. Either the birth father was found or someone forged his signature so finally Anya’s new parents were allowed to adopt Anya.

I thought the fact that Anya wrote letters she would never send to her birth mother was beautiful and heartbreaking, like many of the best things in life. I asked Anya if she wanted to share one of the letters with me, and she sent me one! I felt honored to get to read something so private and meaningful and I wanted others to have the same experience, so I asked Anya if she wanted to make a blog post out of her letter.

And she said yes!

Adoptees are the best. So brave, so creative, so generous.

Here is what she wrote:

Dear Birth Mom,

Hey, Mom, if you are listening I just wanted to talk to you. We may be far apart from each other but, you’re never far from my heart. I often talk to you like your here with me I know it sounds crazy right!! Well I’m 22 now, crazy how time flies by. There’s not a day that doesn’t go by where I don’t think of you, or think of how much I miss you. Especially on my birthday and Mother’s Day. I often think, I wish you were here to celebrate my birthday with me or just holidays in general. I think of what you must feel not being able to be with me either. It can’t be easy for you. 

 There are a lot of feeling that come up when you are adopted or even talking about being adopted, feelings like sadness and feeling lost, mostly just sadness, not because you gave me up, it’s because I’m sad that I won’t ever be able to see you again or hear your voice or know where I got my great looks from. Hahahaha just kidding.

Many questions run through my head when I think of you, questions like, What do you look like; Do you ever think of me?; What was life like before you had me? Do you have a good life now? Many other questions go through my head but those are the most common ones that I think of. My number 1 wish for you is that I hope you are happy. I hope that life is treating you well. I want you to know that I am very happy and have an amazing life and I couldn’t have asked for a better one. I always say to myself I wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for you and the sacrifice you made and put me first before anyone else. 

Anya

Anya is on Instagram @anyarahn.