I love Tim O’Brien’s book The Things We Carried because he tried to write the impossible, a true war story.

The other day I was talking to an adoptee about speaking publicly, on a stage, about adoption. “The problem with that,” she said, “is that then I would have to listen.”

I have never acted more privileged or entitled than when I approached my birth parents.

Not too long ago a man asked me about my best sexual fantasy. I thought it was a funny question to ask a near-stranger, so I thought I’d do something funny in return and tell him the truth.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry I struggle so much with this whole thing. I’m sorry I can’t be easier, more fun, less complicated.

One reason I brought my daughter to the Vineyard with me this weekend was to see if I could find a moment I’d been looking for most of my life.

I put the burger in front of my mouth and tried to suffocate myself while I was driving, but I instinctually chewed my way to safety, and two days later, there I was, an asshole with a dry erase and a lesson plan and thirty students who just wanted to understand how to construct an argument so they could pass the final exam.

The price of believing you don’t belong is that you wear glasses of not-belonging, and you look through lenses that show you, again and again, the truth of your belief. You see what you see in your head, and it is a mighty battle to shift this kind of vision.

We are in the holiday season, and if you are afraid of your hunger, if you are worried about gaining weight, this season of parties and mashed sweet potato and cookies and eggnog can be gasoline on fire. So let’s talk about hunger. Let’s show you how not alone you are if you have a hunger you fear more than you enjoy.

What would the world look like if the members of the triad lived in full disclosure? I feel like the entire mountain of words could be reduced to two: Holy shit.

Having thought loops that bring us down is not just an adoptee thing. This is a human thing. And it’s so annoying.

I used to have a problem with food. Well, I used to have a problem with life because it got in the way of me eating all the time.