I created six groups of three adopted people and gave them ten minutes to act like one brain and come up with a list of what they believed were the negative messages their subconscious was feeding them about being themselves on the planet.

Here is the big list of all reported messages:

Unworthy

Unwanted

Alone

Hopeless

No family

May never escape from fear

Shamed

Trapped

Unlovable

Conditional

Shamed for feeling truth

Incompetent

At risk

Liar, liar, pants on fire

Guilty

Going to be a bag lady

Loser

Alone

Something wrong with me

No one likes me

I’m in trouble

It’s all my fault

Someone’s mad at me

Not good enough

I can’t do any better than this

This is my potential

I can’t or I won’t be able to make any money or extra money

I will always be lonely

Not allowed to be seen or heard

Nobody wants to hear what I have to say

No one understands

No one wants to hear me

Nobody likes me

I’m broken

There’s something wrong with me

Everyone’s trauma is worse than mine

I’m not good enough

I’m unlovable

No one gets me

I don’t belong

I don’t fit in

I’m incompetent

I’m too much

I’m too sensitive

I’m too cold (unfeeling)

I’m unappealing

Nothing to offer

Not allowed to rest

Must be productive

Can’t be lazy

I’m a screwup or I’m going to screw up.

I can’t—not enough energy or not able to

You’ll never have the energy or resources you need

You’ll never get to a place of good enough

I was unwanted

I was unworthy as a baby

I’m trash

I shouldn’t exist

How can I not take it personally?

I’m a person at fault

I’m an afterthought

I’m needy

I have a deficit

I’m a burden

I’m too much

I don’t belong anywhere

I should have been aborted

What’s the point?

I feel judged

I’m different

I feel like a weirdo

Unseen

Unloved

Uncared for

Unfortunate

Unreal

Invisible

Abandoned

Rejected

Pushed aside

Worthless

Fucked beyond repair

Ugly

Not belonging anywhere ever

Broken

You suck—you’re always going to suck

You don’t know—other people know better

You should be insecure

Your food choices are weird

You’re weird

You need to do better

You’ll never get to where you want to be

You don’t matter

They have no use for you

You don’t fit in or belong

Nobody wants to play with you, meet you, know you

Bonehead

Stupid person

You can’t have what you want

Unreflected

Unmirrored

You’re not good enough

No one understands you

Your stories take up too much time

Get over it

You’re ugly

You’re fat

You’re unlovable

You’re pretty but you’re passing

No one likes you

You’re not worthy

You don’t live up to your potential

Here's a meditation that flips these things and makes them more like a delicious meal: