When You Want to Write So Much It Hurts But Nothing Comes Out

After a title like that, what can I say?

Mostly I’m wondering what it is that makes us feel like we have to write. I’m including you in this, too, because I don’t feel like talking just about myself.

Is there actually something inside that needs to come to the light or is it wishful thinking, like, I may be an okay version of myself now, but there is better version inside of me, and one day it will come out in what I write and then everyone including myself will see my intelligence and sparkle?

Is the urge/need to create a denial of what is or the ache of the chrysalis informing us that change is coming?

What happens when people carry the desire to create something inside of their bodies and eat instead?

Can you die from not creating?

Is there a name for the ache to create? Is there a name for the ache when nothing comes out?

What if the ache is not about writing or creating so much as it is about yearning to live, about letting yourself live wholeheartedly? What if the idea that you are supposed to create something is another way of shoulding on yourself? What if it’s okay to deeply enjoy and appreciate what is in front of you and what is inside of you without having to package it up is some way for others to understand?

I mean, it is a great, wonderful thing to share and to connect through creation. It’s also, I believe, I am coming to find, a great and wonderful thing to simply exist and to hold the wonder inside of yourself and see what happens next.