A Party Trick for Those Who Want to Write Their Story in 2020 But Are Afraid of Hurting People
Buy a length of hose. Or buy a whole hose and cut off a piece about the length of your arm.
It doesn’t have to be a hose. Any tube that bends will work, I think.
Also buy a bottle of water. Better yet, save the ocean, and fill a jar with water.
Bring your hose and your water to a family party because I’m guessing if you are afraid to tell your story, it’s your family you are most worried about hurting or offending.
Let everyone enjoy themselves for a while and then stand on the kitchen counter or the dining room table or a chair. Someplace that puts you above all these people or this one person whose opinion keeps you from feeling free to write.
Clear your throat loudly until you have everyone’s attention, or at least the people who you fear would prefer you live your life quietly, maybe even silently.
Hold the hose up vertically. Say, “This hose represents me, my body. We are, after all, just tubes. Food goes in, poop comes out.” Say, “But I’m not here to talk about poop. I’m hear to talk about my desire to tell my story.” Point to the top end of the hose and say, “This is where my desire to tell my story begins.” Point to the end at the bottom. Say, “This is where the story would come out, my story, if I felt free to tell it.” Pour some water into the top hole and let it run through the hose until it comes out the bottom and spills all over the place. Say, “That’s called making art. That’s called freedom.” Ignore the water-splattered complaints.
Ask for a few volunteers—ask in particular for the people you are afraid of offending with the truth of your story. Ask each person to pinch the hose closed at different levels. (If there is only one person, you’ll just have one person—this still works.) Try pouring water in the hose. Say, “See! Nothing comes out! No story! No freedom!” Say, “Do you know why?” If your audience just stares at you, answer for them. “It’s because these people are fucking pinching my hose!”
Point to the first pincher. Tell the audience how/why you are afraid of offending/hurting/pissing off this person. For example, you might say, “Mom, I can’t write my story because I’m afraid you’ll hate me if you know what I really think.” If she’s a good mom, a courageous mom, she’ll let go of the hose to hug you because we all know truth is beauty. She’ll tell you not to be ridiculous, that she’s a grown-up and if you say something that causes her pain, she’ll go to a therapist. If she isn’t a good mom and asks you to keep your story a secret, decide she is still a grown-up and know she can get herself to a therapist. Know this is okay because you are not writing to hurt others: you are writing to tell the truth of your story. It’s about you, ultimately, not them.
Point to the second pincher. Repeat the above actions.
Keep listing all the reasons you have not felt free to tell your own story until the hose is finally unpinched, until the water you pour in the top travels easily through the hollow tube and spills all over the place yet again.
Do a happy dance. You are so free!
Get off the table or the counter or the chair, hug everyone.
Start writing. It’s your story, your life, and if you don’t tell it, no one will. You’ll die with it inside of you or all that stagnation will make you sick and you’ll live the almost useless life of a bent hose, and that’s one of the saddest stories anyone ever heard.
