Day 52 - The Foods You Crave Might be Kicking Your Butt
When you wake up at 3 a.m. and think, What is that? and it’s your own body telling you that whatever you ate earlier that evening was being rejected by your own sweet self, it’s hard not to feel discouraged.
I mean, for heaven’s sake, I’m on day FIFTY-TWO of eating pretty darn clean AND I gave up coffee. What the heck is wrong with my body? When I am going to get that epic poop I am chasing?
I took the yogurt I’d had for dinner to Dr. Mark’s office this morning. It was five dollars a jar and very, very delicious. Truth be told, I saved it for special occasions because 1. of the price and 2. every time I ate it I got the runs, but I figured in my twisted way that it was just a coincidence. It was probably the weather that upset my guts, not this amazing yogurt.
He looked at the jar. “Did you eat the whole thing?” he said.
I nodded. Of course. Isn’t everything in a jar that you can hold in your hand basically, except for mayonnaise, a single serving?
“It says this is two servings,” he said. “You probably overwhelmed your gut.”
There was no way I was going to eat half a jar of yogurt, ever. Unless I was in France where smaller portions suddenly made sense. I told him he could keep that full jar. I clearly could not be trusted with it.
I told him that my digestive tract wasn’t much better than it was when I started. It is better: I have less bloating, less gas. I lost ten pounds, but the fact is that I’m still pooping like an invalid. I want to poop like Rocky. I imagine his poops were like dropping the kids off at the pool. Big kids. I want those.
Dr. Mark uses applied kinesiology, muscle testing, to figure out what is going on in the body. What he found was that my gall bladder was not processing fats well. This is interesting since my diet has been fat heavy with healthy oils and ghee for some time. No wonder I was in pain. It is not uncommon for me to take a swig of olive oil midafternoon as a snack. This also means that my second favorite snack, nuts, a fat-heavy, hard to digest food, was not good for my body right now. My third favorite thing was to have bullet-proof (decaf) coffee for breakfast. What is added to the coffee? Butter and MCT oil (coconut oil on crack).
I was craving the very things that were causing the most damage. Dr. Mark told me it’s common for him to do food sensitivity tests on people and for them to say after seeing the first three items on their list of foods to avoid at least for a while, But those are the things I eat/crave every day.
If your digestion is an issue for you, maybe you could look at the three things you crave most, the three things you eat most, and avoid them for a week just to see if you feel any better.
Part of me thinks this whole feeding my body thing should be a whole lot less complicated than it is. I never wanted to be the person who went to a restaurant and was like Meg Ryan’s character in Harry Met Sally. (See her do her thing here: https://youtu.be/cnlm2e3EN78.)
Maybe I’ll get “I’m sorry” tattooed on my forehead so every time I talk to a waiter or a friend who is trying to cook me a meal, they could see I meant it. I’m sorry I need more vinegar than oil. I’m sorry I can’t eat dairy or gluten or sugar. I’m sorry I don’t drink wine. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry. It is, of course, very tempting just to eat what I’m served and suffer the consequences later. The problem with that is that the consequences are getting more severe, and unless I want to be the person squatting in the corner of a crowded elevator going poop because she just couldn’t hold it any more, I have to make changes. I have to be a pain in the neck.
For many people, and for many adopted people, being a pain in the neck is a challenge. What if you don’t like me? What if you give me back? Who am I if I’m pleasing myself and not you?
All things are delicately interconnected. Listening to my gut helps me listen to myself which help me listen to you because I am more present.
One day, one meal, at a time.
Steel-cut oatmeal with a little honey for breakfast.
Some chicken and vegetables for lunch.
A handful of Standard Process food-based supplements Dr. Mark gave me to help support my gallbladder and intestines.
I’m hungry, but I also get to look at hunger and see what it really feels like, what it really means. It’s not like I’m starving. It’s actually, when I pay attention, that my body is processing the food I have eaten and isn’t weighed down by a wad of indigestible stuff stuck in my gut. Maybe this isn’t even really hunger. Maybe this is the sound of my body humming.
My head is clearer, and that’s a relief. I’m also tired because I woke up so often last night.
I’m going to take a nap.
See you tomorrow.
xoxo
